This years harvest

389 years ago complete strangers got together and shared a meal of thanks for a bountiful harvest. Or maybe something else. I’m not a historian, so I don’t want to pretend to pick apart Thanksgiving to find out what it really meant. My harvest this year has been plentiful. There were good fruits and bad, but that’s ok. I’ve learned to toss the bad fruits into the compost pile in hopes to get better fruit from their decomposed remains. I am thankful for all of it. The good, the bad, the downright ugly. And trust me, there has been a lot of ugly. It’s been a year of rallying.

I think the biggest highlight of this year is my niece. She was blessed with an extra chromosome that has touched each member of my family in a different way. There was excitement, fear, sadness, joy, and a lot of learning. Buddy Walk fundraising that raised well over $1000 without even trying. Plans for next years walk, team names, shirts, and fundraising ideas. Seeing my niece smile and laugh amazes me each and every time, knowing that she has gone through so much. But she can rally.



I got a job. I honestly love my job. It’s awesome; amazing. My classroom has steel security doors and deadbolts. And you know what? It excites me that there are a few students who REALLY do care to learn. There have been good days and bad. There have been perfect scores and complete failures, but in the end, there were learning lessons. I credit my 4 month old niece for teaching my students about chromosomes and genetic abnormalities. She can’t talk, but oh the things I imagine that she has to say…amazing!

I have guided my students through their friends and family members being murdered, incarcerated, MIA. I have guided young girls through the end of pregnancies, raising babies, I have been the first to know they were pregnant. What an amazing thing that is. The joy, the fear, the unknown. Creating a whole new science program, being in charge of the whole department at my school, having veteran teachers come to me for my opinion, I have all of this at work. I love it. I love that I can be sick, saddened, exhausted, about to cry, only to have my principal give a shoulder to lean on, asking if I need anything. My Response? “I can rally.” Those words seem to make everything better.

I got engaged! Who thought that would ever happen?! Seriously. Now we just have to wait for actually getting married. Haha! Anyone want to plan my wedding?

I sit here listening to Christmas music, tired from the plentiful Thanksgiving meal shared with family and friends, feeling fortunate for the good fruits in my life. I am thankful for the bad things and the ugly things that have taught me enough about life to know that I can let them crumble and fall to pieces and turn them into something good.

This year has been a year of deconstruction, of starting new. This years fire is slowly dying. Next years fire holds untouched knowledge, a newness only to be ignited when ready. Next year we will let the ugly be overcome by good. We will rally.

Being an aunt is awesome!

Nieces and nephews are the best. At least mine are.


My niece is almost 3 weeks old. On her 2 week birthday she rolled over from her back to stomach! I have a feeling she is going to be strong like her dad and smart like her mom. And maybe cool like me. An aunt can always hope, right?
Aubrey is my little angel. From the second I saw her after she was born I loved her so much. Today we found out that she will need open heart surgery in a few months to fix 2 defects. As for now, she is doing great...just working on growing big so she can teach all of us what life is all about. I can't wait until she is old enough so that I can teach her all sorts of fun stuff!


My nephew on the other hand is already a handful. He's 9 months going on giant. Just not the green giant. My sister tried to feed him peas the other day and he told her "NO". A few days ago I got the chance to kidnap him for a few hours and let me tell you, he gave me a run for my money! Once he woke up for his nap and had his 2nd lunch, he was all over the place. We let him play on the bed with Aubrey for a while (I took him to visit his cousin), and while she did nothing but sleep, Nocchi wrestled with Jordan and pushed him off the bed! Then he bounced in his bouncer forever! It was impossible to get a clear picture of him! Lucky for his mom and dad, I dropped him off as a sleepy, worn-out little boy!

I am so blessed to have these kids in my life!

I'm an auntie...again!!!!!

Aubrey Linda Marie Eash was born on July 3rd (the day I picked!) at 7:25 at night. Congrats to Mindy and Jordan for bringing such a beautiful little girl into this world! I'm such a proud auntie! I love her so much!

Head Above the Clouds

I have been busy lately. I haven’t really done much, but my time seems to have disappeared. I started a new job this week. It takes me 25 minutes to get there and 1 hour 45 minutes to get home. Apparently that is how LA traffic works. I hate the drive, but I think the job will be worth it. Plus it will be really good for my resumѐ. I am glad it is just for the summer though, because this waking up at 4:30 in the morning thing is nonsense. My whole week has been nonsense. For that matter, I actually have to teach nonsense at work. Umm…yeah.

So I am getting married. I have 5 million ideas in my head about it and only like two make any sense. Can someone please just make decisions for me and set it all up so I just have to show up? “It’s my day…y’all don’t matter!” Sorry, I was watching Bridezillas the other day and one of the girls actually said that. I’m thinking late next summer. Maybe early next summer. Maybe in 2 years. HA!

Apparently that is where all my time has gone. Wedding planning. Although sadly, nothing has actually been planned. Except maybe one thing. Maybe. Maybe not. It’s not going to be too big. It’s not going to be a huge party. There will be champagne. This is me we are talking about. Actually, I might have to retract the party comment, because we all know that when Heidi meets champagne there is no good to be done. And you know, maybe it will be too big. So really, the only set in stone plan in champagne. Lots of champagne. And then maybe some more for mimosas the next morning. That sounds about right.

Mimosas are always right. So am I.

Rules of Engagement

1. Tell me that you were planning to buy my dream truck for me instead of a ring.
2. Ask me twice.
3. Once while I am in the shower trying to think of what to say.
4. Watch me scrub the kitchen til it shines.
5. Buy me a pretty ring.
6. Make sure it is the exact ring I want (3mm yellow gold plain band for those who want to know).
7. Put it on my finger while eating lunch.
8. At Tokyo Grill. In the food court of the Lakewood Mall.
9. Tell my mom and your mom. And sisters.
10. Go on our merry way.

That's all the rules. They were all followed today. Just like that. In that order. Now it is time to get hitched. Any ideas???

Hero

Dear boy on the street corner,

You are my hero of the day. Maybe of the year. I'm not sure about the second one. Seeing you today made me so happy. I don't know your name, where you live, or really anything about you other than the fact that you skateboard and go to LBCC. I am very thankful to you today, and I am sure Mother Earth is, too.

When you decided to drop your skateboard in the gutter and drop to your knees in the street, I admit that I thought you were crazy. But when I saw you pull a paper bag from your pocket and begin to scoop up trash with your clean hands, I almost shed a tear. Then, you filled your bag, ran to the trash can to toss it, ran back, jumped on your skateboard, and went off to school.

Thank you, boy on the street corner. Thank you for cleaning up our home one street corner at a time.

From,
Heidi

You might laugh...

But two nights ago we had a funeral in the house. A hermit crab funeral. For Hermie. Hermie was a good little hermit crab. We got him and he was normal sized, with a good, strong claw, in ideal health; the perfect Mexican Red-Legged hermit crab. We got him not knowing what a hermit crab can do. Overnight, he ate all the bad glass anenomes that had taken over the tank. Then he ate some algae. After that he ate a shrimp we threw in for him as a reward. We were very pleased with our little Hermie.

Until he ate the good anenome. And the snails. And any fish that were slow enough or small enough to catch. I still loved Hermie after all that, until the day he climbed up the glass heating element and ate my pink sea cucumber, Brain. Now, that might not seem like a huge deal to you, except Brain was a part of my Valentine's Day present two years ago. Brain was special. It was that day that I hated Hermie.

Yet, I couldn't get rid of him. Who in their right mind would want a now softball sized, custom shell needed, vicious hermit crab? That would be nobody, so we were stuck with him. He grew on us. We stopped trying to make the tank pretty with colorful anenomes and swimming fish. But we had Hermie, and he sure was a sight.

Last week he was hanging out on the sand, outside of his shell. Weird we thought. Hermit crabs don't do that. He went back in, but wasn't the same. He wouldn't eat, and just kind of hung around the bottom of the tank. Two days ago we threw in his favorite food, shrimp, and he didn't move. Hermie had gone to hermit crab heaven.

So we threw him a hermit crab funeral. And now we will celebrate his life by getting pretty fish. And maybe another Brain.

(Hermie entertaining Snuff at the beginning of our time together)

Shank

I want to understand the thought processes that happen in people’s heads. I understand what my job is. I understand the challenges that occur when a teacher must leave his or her classroom and trust a (sometimes) stranger to take over and make sure that their students are learning. The students that they have spent the past year (sometimes two or three years) nurturing, watching them grow from immature little kids to young adults who are beginning to understand the real world. That (sometimes) stranger is me. I go into classrooms that are often foreign to me, many times not knowing what to expect, what to do, what the children will be like. How are the children going to be today? Will they be respectful? Talkative? Will they do their assigned work? Will I be able to communicate with them? I constantly think about writing a book, or putting together a compilation of my stories: Adventures of a substitute teacher in Compton. But I would probably get sued.

I swear I have a story for every day of the year. Like today…How screwed up is the education system when they keep kids in school who are a threat to other kids and adults? I was TRYING to teach a class. I say trying because some kids decided that school isn’t important so they are just going to talk and distract everyone. All the sudden I hear a boy ask someone if they like his shank. He decided it was ok to make a weapon while at school, right in front of me. Now, one would think that when a kid has a weapon at school that they would get in trouble. Not here though. Not when the district refuses to suspend students because they need every cent of ADA money. What happened to zero tolerance policies? Why are student’s lives being put at risk? Why is this ok with people?

Don’t get me wrong. I love my job (most of the time). I am thoroughly entertained everyday by the lives America’s youth. It is an amazing feeling to be able to share my stories with them about when I was their age (edited of course, because they don’t need to know the details). I see them going through the same exact things I went through, and I know that sometimes I can help them and sometimes I just need to let them figure it out on their own. It is amazing to see them grasp something that they had no previous understanding of.

I think I am burnt out. This writing is out of frustration. Had my class choice today been better, I probably would have remained silent for a day, but I find myself crying out for someone to think about what they are doing to the youth of this world by not teaching them right and wrong. I shouldn’t say my class choice for the day; I should say the choices that the students in the class are making should be better. If only I could understand what they were thinking, then maybe I could reach them.

Telephone wire puppets

Face it: Redundancy is a part of life. Most things we do every day we have already done the day before, and the day before, and the day before, and I think you know where I am going with that. Some of this repetition is good: showering, eating, using deoderant, giving and receiving kisses. However, when we do the same minute tasks day after day after day life takes us by the strings and turns us into puppets. Once a puppet, you can no longer control your own actions; you must live your simple life of repetitive movements over and over again until your muscles have them memorized and the puppeteer no longer needs to do any work because you do it all for him. What is the fun in that? Why live a life that you are not truly living at all. Why give in and let the puppeteer dominate you?

2 New Years Eves ago I decided I would no longer be a puppet. It's been really hard to break the strings, but I think life is definitely more interesting. One year ago I decided to leave my mom's nest and learn how to be an adult. It isn't easy, no one said it would be nor did I think it would, but I do not regret it for one second.

In order to further remove myself from the staged life I had to be removed from certain people in my past (not my mom or any of my family). How do you tell someone you no longer want to be in their life and you no longer want them in yours? Sometimes, you just have to walk away without turning back.

You have to give to get. Forgive to forget.

Living a life out of control is not easy. I constantly find myself wondering what to do next. Chris is pretty good at finding things. We have spent our Saturdays for the last 3 months exploring the wonderful area of Southern California known as the Grapevine. I always thought it was just a windy hilly part of the 5 freeway, but whowouldathunk that there are actually things to do up there? We have spent days talking to men who are missing teeth running art shows, bikers at a biker bar that really is in the middle of nowhere, and Park Rangers in old abandoned Fort Tejon that was once the epicenter of a very large earthquake.

Yesterday while exploring one of the fault lines up there we found a small area of natural clay. I kid you not, I almost stripped down and jumped in. Until I realized we were right next to the highway. Instead I settled for rubbing it on my hand. We were on a fault line that has natural hot springs on it, and turns out there was a random spring drip dripping out of the rocks. It drip dripped down into a miniature sag pong along the side of the road that was full of tadpoles! Swim swimity swim swimity swim swim sharoo. I just had to get that out.

These are things that keep me sane. They keep my life far from being mundane. They keep me full of adventure. And you know what? When I am old and gray and full of embarrasing moments, I am going to be able to tell whoever is nice enough to listen that I had to go, so I went. Right on top of the San Andreas fault. So there! Bring on the earthquake!

Happy Earth Day!

Because it is Earth Day, I will not water my garden. Oh wait, I won't water because it rained. Whatever. Apparently all of my tomato plants are dying. I don't know why, but the leaves are all shriveling up or something. It's not snails. I water regularly but not too much. It must be my brown thumb. My arugula is growing though! 2 more weeks til I can pick it.

So last week I bought lotion with sunscreen in it. I know one of my friends will be very happy about that. She can no longer yell at me for being sunburnt all the time. Only problem is that I smell like sunscreen all the time, and honestly, I hate that smell. Unless it's banana boat. Cause that just smells tropical and yummy.

One of my dogs keeps farting. I'm not sure which one because they are both next to me right now. But it smells REALLY bad. I wish I could tell them that farting is not good for the environment because it contains methane and other gases, but I don't think they would understand. Plus, people might think I am crazy. But we already knew that didn't we?

Out of death comes new life

The Mayans believed that when things died they went into the earth and from the earth came new life. Yesterday I was given word of a death that hit close to home. Not my home, but the home of one of my old students. My old student, who will remain nameless, lost her sister last week. She was the victim of a shooting, probably senseless, but nonetheless deadly. I feel for my old student, mostly because I know her potential, and I know many of her teachers did not. I understood her rough life and hard time getting along at school. I remember her coming to my classroom last year asking if she could use my phone to call her sister because she was having a bad day. Her sister calmed her down and she went on to the rest of her classes. It could have been my student sitting on the porch that night. It could have been anyone. The Mayans based their concept of life around the fact of death. Everything dies, but only when something dies will something be born. It is a never ending cycle.

I planted arugula last week. It might just be the only plant I am able to keep alive. I have managed to kill rosemary, freeway daisies, thyme, and even a tomato. I don't know how one manages to kill any of those plants, but I did. I did my research on it. Apparently arugula is super invasive, so I planted it in this special pot. I needed the special pot because I know the reason why everything I plant dies. I don't water. So the special pot has this water reservoir in the bottom of it to always keep the soil moist. At least until the reservoir is dry. I remembered to water this morning. Not too much though, because I don't want to drown it. I did that to the corn.

The arugula is not for me. It's for Sherlock and Irene. See, it is bearded dragon breeding season, only Irene wont give it up to Sherlock, so he is extremely horny. He is taking his frustration out on his food and eating about 2 bowls of salad a day. Anyone know how much arugula costs? It's not cheap. But a pack of seeds is only 99 cents. See, I'm smrt sometimes. Just like Homer Simpson.

Coffee and Shrooms

I write things. On napkins, coffee cups, sometimes a desk at work. Sometimes I have so many thinking thoughts going through my head at once that it whisks my brain into mush. And not the good kind of mush either. Not like a wild mushroom and herb risotto mush, or a southern grits mush, but more like a garden soil that got too much rain mush. It's that mush that makes me write. Usually on my morning coffee cup. I should probably stop killing trees for my coffee and use my reusable cup, but what fun would that be?

Today I thought about growing mushrooms. I never liked mushrooms, until one day at a certain friends wedding I ate one and it was like fireworks in my mouth. Maybe not fireworks, that's not really the best word, but maybe after three proofreading sessions I will keep it. I thought about using the word ecstasy, but that reminds me of this story a certain close relative told me about that drug, so I don't really like that word. Anyway, back to mushrooms, I thought about growing them, but I am afraid that if I do, somehow a poisonous one will sneak in and kill me. Or make me sick. Really sick. I don't like vomiting. I don't even like that word. Here's a poisonous mushroom for you. I wouldn't eat it.

I have a million things to write, but I fear people will think I am crazy for just spouting out random information about my life, nothing that really is important, but just stuff. Yesterday I was teaching a 4th grade class and the students didn't know what long-winded meant. If you don't know, look it up. Anyway, the day was half over, time for lunch, and this kid comes up to me and says "Ms. Zink, you are a long-winded person." I just about died laughing. Apparently I talk a lot. And then I talk some more.
Does anyone know anything about growing mushrooms?