Monday, October 10, 2011

Purgatory

I’ll be straight. The place I work is full of negativity. Every day there is something new in the bad news pile. Last week, the death of a student. Last month, the most caring teacher this school has seen was not brought back after being laid off. Seeing people who don’t give a crap about what goes on with the students that they are in charge of is aggravating to say the least.

Today was my first day back in the middle school classroom. It is a big adjustment for me, going from high school Biology and Environmental Science to middle school Physical and Life Science, English, History, and Math. Yes, Math. The pressure to contain what comes out of my mouth and bring myself back down to the middle school level as opposed to talking to 19-20 year old students is immense.

I am stressed out. It is evident by the amount of nail biting I have been doing. I have had to relearn how to teach middle school, learn the habits and idiosyncrasies of my new students, and figure out what a function is.

I am one of those people who plans, has things worked out, is prepared for what is going to happen. I have been thrown into a situation where I don’t know what is going to happen next. It is a scary place to be. I am trying to bring my students happiness, but it is difficult when decisions have been made that affect my ability to do that.

My writing has always reflected how I felt on any given day. Hopefully tomorrow it will be more cheerful. Hopefully tomorrow better decisions will be made.

1 comment:

  1. Middle School Students = Kindergarteners with hormons. At least that was my experience while working with them last year. Good Luck Heidi, no matter where they toss you I know you will find a way to rock it!

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