Because someone told me I should.

1. What is your Boyfriend/girlfriends name?
Christopher

2. What color underwear are you wearing now?
Really? I’m too old to be telling people that.

3. What are you listening to right now?
Rise Against- Wait for me

4. What are the last 4 digits in your phone number?
6983

5. What was the last thing you ate?
Watermelon

6. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
white

7. How is the weather right now?
Sunny and warm.

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Sister

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Shoulders.

10. Favorite type of Food?
Ice Cream

11. Do you drink?
I am an alcoholic. Not really. I enjoy my wine.

12. Do you smoke?
No.

13. Ever get so drunk you don't remember what you did?
Unfortunately. I learned my lesson.

14. Hair color?
Brown

15. Eye color?
Hazel

16. Do you wear contacts?
No.

17. Favorite Holiday?
Whatever. Holidays just mean putting crap up and then having to clean it all in 2 weeks, pack it away, and spend money.

18. Favorite Month?
November

19. Have you ever cried for no reason?
I’m a woman. We cry. Apparently men do, also.

20. What was the last movie you watched?
Earth Girls Are Easy.

21. Favorite Day of the Year?
The day I do nothing.

22. Are u too shy to ask someone out?
Probably. I’m not sure. I haven’t had to think about that in a while.

23. If you can say something to someone right now what would it be?
…No idea…

24. Favorite Flower?
Daisy

25. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?
Of course.

26. Are you taken or single?
Taken

27. Have you ever loved someone?
Yes.

28. Who would you like to see right now??
Old friends and new.

29. Are you still friends with your exes??
One.

30. Have you ever fired a gun?
Yes.

31. Do you like to travel by plane?
No.

32. Right-handed or Left-handed?
Right.

33. If you could be with someone right now, who would it be??
I could really go for some good friends and a bar.

34. How many pillows do you sleep with?
1

35. Are you missing someone?
Yes.

36. Do you have a tattoo?
No.

"Elaina Saves the World": Wrapping up 2011

"Elaina Saves the World": Wrapping up 2011: Can you believe 2011 is already over? It was an interesting year for me to say the least. One of the highlights has been the time I have b...

takke deg

Today I am thankful for pillows, because I know I am going to sleep well tonight!

Danke

Today I am thankful for my Snuffleupagus who wakes up and smiles at me every morning even though she has cancer and a bulging aorta.

Thankful

Today I am thankful for the safety of my sister Mindy, niece Aubrey, and friend Jenn when a brutal murder occured at the Walmart that they were all at.

Buddy Walk for Down Syndrome

I am reaching out to all of you who might happen across this page.

Last year, my beautiful niece Aubrey was born with Down Syndrome. The diagnosis brought a lot of different emotions to my family.

This year we are participating in the Buddy Walk to help raise money for the Down Syndrome Association of Orange County. With this money, the Down Syndrome Association of Orange County will help people with Down Syndrome reach their full potential, as well as provide activities, seminars, and support groups.

My niece was born with a blockage in her stomach, two holes in her heart, as well as the need for tubes in her ears. She has made great strides and is doing amazing since her surgeries. The DSAOC has helped my sister and her husband (as well as my whole family) through this time period by providing support and information that we should know.

My wish is this:
If you have the means, please support this wonderful and amazing organization by making a donation. The Buddy Walk is November 6th. Your donation is greatly appreciated! Thank you so much!

http://www.buddywalk.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=487312&lis=1&kntae487312=B8D4DBA67D2442138A9A7AFBF9D65FBF&supId=336070775

Purgatory

I’ll be straight. The place I work is full of negativity. Every day there is something new in the bad news pile. Last week, the death of a student. Last month, the most caring teacher this school has seen was not brought back after being laid off. Seeing people who don’t give a crap about what goes on with the students that they are in charge of is aggravating to say the least.

Today was my first day back in the middle school classroom. It is a big adjustment for me, going from high school Biology and Environmental Science to middle school Physical and Life Science, English, History, and Math. Yes, Math. The pressure to contain what comes out of my mouth and bring myself back down to the middle school level as opposed to talking to 19-20 year old students is immense.

I am stressed out. It is evident by the amount of nail biting I have been doing. I have had to relearn how to teach middle school, learn the habits and idiosyncrasies of my new students, and figure out what a function is.

I am one of those people who plans, has things worked out, is prepared for what is going to happen. I have been thrown into a situation where I don’t know what is going to happen next. It is a scary place to be. I am trying to bring my students happiness, but it is difficult when decisions have been made that affect my ability to do that.

My writing has always reflected how I felt on any given day. Hopefully tomorrow it will be more cheerful. Hopefully tomorrow better decisions will be made.

Crash like a wave

I don’t remember the first time I discovered a magical place. But I do know of a few. Maybe they won’t bring magic into your life, but the feeling I get when I am at these places, it’s amazing. It’s as if the whole world disappears and there is just me and this place, this huge, ever-changing world that was made just for me to explore. This place with all of it’s out of place belongings---things that should be in one box, but during the move got placed in the wrong room. It all ends up being ok, because I like it the way it is, out of place and all. My places are places to be explored, territories that are ready to be discovered, but not rearranged. My places are fine the way they are.

My mind has been absent lately. A lot has happened to make my thoughts run so wild that they seemed to have run away to their own magical places.
I got married. I know, right? As unplanned and last minute as it was, well, yeah, I have no excuse for that. I told my mom the night before. Everyone else found out the next morning, some not until 2 hours before, and many not until after. We tried to do the courthouse thing, but they told us it was a 2 week wait. Huh? Is it not the point of the courthouse wedding to do it the same day? No one was even there! Whatever. We ended up getting married in a little wedding chapel, and it couldn’t have been better (so there, courthouse!). We were surrounded by our families, and well, all of my “sisters”. I wouldn’t change it for the world. Not even the walking down Ocean Blvd. barefoot in the rain afterwards part!

Early in the morning on December 24 I received a phone call from my sister that there was an emergency and I needed to come get Aubrey. Jarod fell and had severe brain trauma and was going into surgery.

Great plans for the holidays were put on hold as we waited to hear of any progress that Jarod made. Sadly, we said goodbye to him four days into the New Year. In his death, people were both brought together and torn apart. Jarod affected each of us in his own special way and we will always remember the good times that we had.
There are many other things that have happened since my last blog. Part of me is telling me to write them, but my mind is telling them to let them get lost in their magical place.

As for life today, I’m alive. I’m trying to get my students to discover their magical places to be explored for the rest of their lives. Places that bring them joy and peace and happiness. I have even introduced them to and told them about a few of my magical places, willing to share with them the amazing feelings of wonderment that come from those places. I am moving into new, unchartered magical places now, in hopes of being delighted by what I find.

Sometimes the wave needs to crash.

these will be the best memories

Once upon a time on an April 20th afternoon, I sat in the back porch room at the Studebaker house with my brother Jarod. Maybe it was more than once. Maybe it has been every April 20th for the past 5 or 6 years. When Jarod left us in January, I thought about the things I would miss...the things that would remind me of him. I never thought that April 20th would be one of those things. It’s the little memories that make a big impact. I miss you brother.

This years harvest

389 years ago complete strangers got together and shared a meal of thanks for a bountiful harvest. Or maybe something else. I’m not a historian, so I don’t want to pretend to pick apart Thanksgiving to find out what it really meant. My harvest this year has been plentiful. There were good fruits and bad, but that’s ok. I’ve learned to toss the bad fruits into the compost pile in hopes to get better fruit from their decomposed remains. I am thankful for all of it. The good, the bad, the downright ugly. And trust me, there has been a lot of ugly. It’s been a year of rallying.

I think the biggest highlight of this year is my niece. She was blessed with an extra chromosome that has touched each member of my family in a different way. There was excitement, fear, sadness, joy, and a lot of learning. Buddy Walk fundraising that raised well over $1000 without even trying. Plans for next years walk, team names, shirts, and fundraising ideas. Seeing my niece smile and laugh amazes me each and every time, knowing that she has gone through so much. But she can rally.



I got a job. I honestly love my job. It’s awesome; amazing. My classroom has steel security doors and deadbolts. And you know what? It excites me that there are a few students who REALLY do care to learn. There have been good days and bad. There have been perfect scores and complete failures, but in the end, there were learning lessons. I credit my 4 month old niece for teaching my students about chromosomes and genetic abnormalities. She can’t talk, but oh the things I imagine that she has to say…amazing!

I have guided my students through their friends and family members being murdered, incarcerated, MIA. I have guided young girls through the end of pregnancies, raising babies, I have been the first to know they were pregnant. What an amazing thing that is. The joy, the fear, the unknown. Creating a whole new science program, being in charge of the whole department at my school, having veteran teachers come to me for my opinion, I have all of this at work. I love it. I love that I can be sick, saddened, exhausted, about to cry, only to have my principal give a shoulder to lean on, asking if I need anything. My Response? “I can rally.” Those words seem to make everything better.

I got engaged! Who thought that would ever happen?! Seriously. Now we just have to wait for actually getting married. Haha! Anyone want to plan my wedding?

I sit here listening to Christmas music, tired from the plentiful Thanksgiving meal shared with family and friends, feeling fortunate for the good fruits in my life. I am thankful for the bad things and the ugly things that have taught me enough about life to know that I can let them crumble and fall to pieces and turn them into something good.

This year has been a year of deconstruction, of starting new. This years fire is slowly dying. Next years fire holds untouched knowledge, a newness only to be ignited when ready. Next year we will let the ugly be overcome by good. We will rally.

Being an aunt is awesome!

Nieces and nephews are the best. At least mine are.


My niece is almost 3 weeks old. On her 2 week birthday she rolled over from her back to stomach! I have a feeling she is going to be strong like her dad and smart like her mom. And maybe cool like me. An aunt can always hope, right?
Aubrey is my little angel. From the second I saw her after she was born I loved her so much. Today we found out that she will need open heart surgery in a few months to fix 2 defects. As for now, she is doing great...just working on growing big so she can teach all of us what life is all about. I can't wait until she is old enough so that I can teach her all sorts of fun stuff!


My nephew on the other hand is already a handful. He's 9 months going on giant. Just not the green giant. My sister tried to feed him peas the other day and he told her "NO". A few days ago I got the chance to kidnap him for a few hours and let me tell you, he gave me a run for my money! Once he woke up for his nap and had his 2nd lunch, he was all over the place. We let him play on the bed with Aubrey for a while (I took him to visit his cousin), and while she did nothing but sleep, Nocchi wrestled with Jordan and pushed him off the bed! Then he bounced in his bouncer forever! It was impossible to get a clear picture of him! Lucky for his mom and dad, I dropped him off as a sleepy, worn-out little boy!

I am so blessed to have these kids in my life!

I'm an auntie...again!!!!!

Aubrey Linda Marie Eash was born on July 3rd (the day I picked!) at 7:25 at night. Congrats to Mindy and Jordan for bringing such a beautiful little girl into this world! I'm such a proud auntie! I love her so much!

Head Above the Clouds

I have been busy lately. I haven’t really done much, but my time seems to have disappeared. I started a new job this week. It takes me 25 minutes to get there and 1 hour 45 minutes to get home. Apparently that is how LA traffic works. I hate the drive, but I think the job will be worth it. Plus it will be really good for my resumѐ. I am glad it is just for the summer though, because this waking up at 4:30 in the morning thing is nonsense. My whole week has been nonsense. For that matter, I actually have to teach nonsense at work. Umm…yeah.

So I am getting married. I have 5 million ideas in my head about it and only like two make any sense. Can someone please just make decisions for me and set it all up so I just have to show up? “It’s my day…y’all don’t matter!” Sorry, I was watching Bridezillas the other day and one of the girls actually said that. I’m thinking late next summer. Maybe early next summer. Maybe in 2 years. HA!

Apparently that is where all my time has gone. Wedding planning. Although sadly, nothing has actually been planned. Except maybe one thing. Maybe. Maybe not. It’s not going to be too big. It’s not going to be a huge party. There will be champagne. This is me we are talking about. Actually, I might have to retract the party comment, because we all know that when Heidi meets champagne there is no good to be done. And you know, maybe it will be too big. So really, the only set in stone plan in champagne. Lots of champagne. And then maybe some more for mimosas the next morning. That sounds about right.

Mimosas are always right. So am I.

Rules of Engagement

1. Tell me that you were planning to buy my dream truck for me instead of a ring.
2. Ask me twice.
3. Once while I am in the shower trying to think of what to say.
4. Watch me scrub the kitchen til it shines.
5. Buy me a pretty ring.
6. Make sure it is the exact ring I want (3mm yellow gold plain band for those who want to know).
7. Put it on my finger while eating lunch.
8. At Tokyo Grill. In the food court of the Lakewood Mall.
9. Tell my mom and your mom. And sisters.
10. Go on our merry way.

That's all the rules. They were all followed today. Just like that. In that order. Now it is time to get hitched. Any ideas???

Hero

Dear boy on the street corner,

You are my hero of the day. Maybe of the year. I'm not sure about the second one. Seeing you today made me so happy. I don't know your name, where you live, or really anything about you other than the fact that you skateboard and go to LBCC. I am very thankful to you today, and I am sure Mother Earth is, too.

When you decided to drop your skateboard in the gutter and drop to your knees in the street, I admit that I thought you were crazy. But when I saw you pull a paper bag from your pocket and begin to scoop up trash with your clean hands, I almost shed a tear. Then, you filled your bag, ran to the trash can to toss it, ran back, jumped on your skateboard, and went off to school.

Thank you, boy on the street corner. Thank you for cleaning up our home one street corner at a time.

From,
Heidi

You might laugh...

But two nights ago we had a funeral in the house. A hermit crab funeral. For Hermie. Hermie was a good little hermit crab. We got him and he was normal sized, with a good, strong claw, in ideal health; the perfect Mexican Red-Legged hermit crab. We got him not knowing what a hermit crab can do. Overnight, he ate all the bad glass anenomes that had taken over the tank. Then he ate some algae. After that he ate a shrimp we threw in for him as a reward. We were very pleased with our little Hermie.

Until he ate the good anenome. And the snails. And any fish that were slow enough or small enough to catch. I still loved Hermie after all that, until the day he climbed up the glass heating element and ate my pink sea cucumber, Brain. Now, that might not seem like a huge deal to you, except Brain was a part of my Valentine's Day present two years ago. Brain was special. It was that day that I hated Hermie.

Yet, I couldn't get rid of him. Who in their right mind would want a now softball sized, custom shell needed, vicious hermit crab? That would be nobody, so we were stuck with him. He grew on us. We stopped trying to make the tank pretty with colorful anenomes and swimming fish. But we had Hermie, and he sure was a sight.

Last week he was hanging out on the sand, outside of his shell. Weird we thought. Hermit crabs don't do that. He went back in, but wasn't the same. He wouldn't eat, and just kind of hung around the bottom of the tank. Two days ago we threw in his favorite food, shrimp, and he didn't move. Hermie had gone to hermit crab heaven.

So we threw him a hermit crab funeral. And now we will celebrate his life by getting pretty fish. And maybe another Brain.

(Hermie entertaining Snuff at the beginning of our time together)

Shank

I want to understand the thought processes that happen in people’s heads. I understand what my job is. I understand the challenges that occur when a teacher must leave his or her classroom and trust a (sometimes) stranger to take over and make sure that their students are learning. The students that they have spent the past year (sometimes two or three years) nurturing, watching them grow from immature little kids to young adults who are beginning to understand the real world. That (sometimes) stranger is me. I go into classrooms that are often foreign to me, many times not knowing what to expect, what to do, what the children will be like. How are the children going to be today? Will they be respectful? Talkative? Will they do their assigned work? Will I be able to communicate with them? I constantly think about writing a book, or putting together a compilation of my stories: Adventures of a substitute teacher in Compton. But I would probably get sued.

I swear I have a story for every day of the year. Like today…How screwed up is the education system when they keep kids in school who are a threat to other kids and adults? I was TRYING to teach a class. I say trying because some kids decided that school isn’t important so they are just going to talk and distract everyone. All the sudden I hear a boy ask someone if they like his shank. He decided it was ok to make a weapon while at school, right in front of me. Now, one would think that when a kid has a weapon at school that they would get in trouble. Not here though. Not when the district refuses to suspend students because they need every cent of ADA money. What happened to zero tolerance policies? Why are student’s lives being put at risk? Why is this ok with people?

Don’t get me wrong. I love my job (most of the time). I am thoroughly entertained everyday by the lives America’s youth. It is an amazing feeling to be able to share my stories with them about when I was their age (edited of course, because they don’t need to know the details). I see them going through the same exact things I went through, and I know that sometimes I can help them and sometimes I just need to let them figure it out on their own. It is amazing to see them grasp something that they had no previous understanding of.

I think I am burnt out. This writing is out of frustration. Had my class choice today been better, I probably would have remained silent for a day, but I find myself crying out for someone to think about what they are doing to the youth of this world by not teaching them right and wrong. I shouldn’t say my class choice for the day; I should say the choices that the students in the class are making should be better. If only I could understand what they were thinking, then maybe I could reach them.

Telephone wire puppets

Face it: Redundancy is a part of life. Most things we do every day we have already done the day before, and the day before, and the day before, and I think you know where I am going with that. Some of this repetition is good: showering, eating, using deoderant, giving and receiving kisses. However, when we do the same minute tasks day after day after day life takes us by the strings and turns us into puppets. Once a puppet, you can no longer control your own actions; you must live your simple life of repetitive movements over and over again until your muscles have them memorized and the puppeteer no longer needs to do any work because you do it all for him. What is the fun in that? Why live a life that you are not truly living at all. Why give in and let the puppeteer dominate you?

2 New Years Eves ago I decided I would no longer be a puppet. It's been really hard to break the strings, but I think life is definitely more interesting. One year ago I decided to leave my mom's nest and learn how to be an adult. It isn't easy, no one said it would be nor did I think it would, but I do not regret it for one second.

In order to further remove myself from the staged life I had to be removed from certain people in my past (not my mom or any of my family). How do you tell someone you no longer want to be in their life and you no longer want them in yours? Sometimes, you just have to walk away without turning back.

You have to give to get. Forgive to forget.

Living a life out of control is not easy. I constantly find myself wondering what to do next. Chris is pretty good at finding things. We have spent our Saturdays for the last 3 months exploring the wonderful area of Southern California known as the Grapevine. I always thought it was just a windy hilly part of the 5 freeway, but whowouldathunk that there are actually things to do up there? We have spent days talking to men who are missing teeth running art shows, bikers at a biker bar that really is in the middle of nowhere, and Park Rangers in old abandoned Fort Tejon that was once the epicenter of a very large earthquake.

Yesterday while exploring one of the fault lines up there we found a small area of natural clay. I kid you not, I almost stripped down and jumped in. Until I realized we were right next to the highway. Instead I settled for rubbing it on my hand. We were on a fault line that has natural hot springs on it, and turns out there was a random spring drip dripping out of the rocks. It drip dripped down into a miniature sag pong along the side of the road that was full of tadpoles! Swim swimity swim swimity swim swim sharoo. I just had to get that out.

These are things that keep me sane. They keep my life far from being mundane. They keep me full of adventure. And you know what? When I am old and gray and full of embarrasing moments, I am going to be able to tell whoever is nice enough to listen that I had to go, so I went. Right on top of the San Andreas fault. So there! Bring on the earthquake!

Happy Earth Day!

Because it is Earth Day, I will not water my garden. Oh wait, I won't water because it rained. Whatever. Apparently all of my tomato plants are dying. I don't know why, but the leaves are all shriveling up or something. It's not snails. I water regularly but not too much. It must be my brown thumb. My arugula is growing though! 2 more weeks til I can pick it.

So last week I bought lotion with sunscreen in it. I know one of my friends will be very happy about that. She can no longer yell at me for being sunburnt all the time. Only problem is that I smell like sunscreen all the time, and honestly, I hate that smell. Unless it's banana boat. Cause that just smells tropical and yummy.

One of my dogs keeps farting. I'm not sure which one because they are both next to me right now. But it smells REALLY bad. I wish I could tell them that farting is not good for the environment because it contains methane and other gases, but I don't think they would understand. Plus, people might think I am crazy. But we already knew that didn't we?

Out of death comes new life

The Mayans believed that when things died they went into the earth and from the earth came new life. Yesterday I was given word of a death that hit close to home. Not my home, but the home of one of my old students. My old student, who will remain nameless, lost her sister last week. She was the victim of a shooting, probably senseless, but nonetheless deadly. I feel for my old student, mostly because I know her potential, and I know many of her teachers did not. I understood her rough life and hard time getting along at school. I remember her coming to my classroom last year asking if she could use my phone to call her sister because she was having a bad day. Her sister calmed her down and she went on to the rest of her classes. It could have been my student sitting on the porch that night. It could have been anyone. The Mayans based their concept of life around the fact of death. Everything dies, but only when something dies will something be born. It is a never ending cycle.

I planted arugula last week. It might just be the only plant I am able to keep alive. I have managed to kill rosemary, freeway daisies, thyme, and even a tomato. I don't know how one manages to kill any of those plants, but I did. I did my research on it. Apparently arugula is super invasive, so I planted it in this special pot. I needed the special pot because I know the reason why everything I plant dies. I don't water. So the special pot has this water reservoir in the bottom of it to always keep the soil moist. At least until the reservoir is dry. I remembered to water this morning. Not too much though, because I don't want to drown it. I did that to the corn.

The arugula is not for me. It's for Sherlock and Irene. See, it is bearded dragon breeding season, only Irene wont give it up to Sherlock, so he is extremely horny. He is taking his frustration out on his food and eating about 2 bowls of salad a day. Anyone know how much arugula costs? It's not cheap. But a pack of seeds is only 99 cents. See, I'm smrt sometimes. Just like Homer Simpson.